What’s in a name

In four weeks time I have to decide whether or not to change my name.

It would be a lot less awkward if I’d reverted to my maiden name after my divorce, but I really could not be bothered. My maiden name is not spelled the way it is pronounced and my first name has its own difficulties, so one of the pleasures of early matrimony was no longer having to spell out both names letter by letter every single time.

It seems discourteous to marry one man and use another man’s name, but I’ve got used to it. It trips off my tongue and spells itself easily and if you google it, it’s mostly me that you find.

To my shame, this last may be the deciding factor.

Oh, the patriarchy… Decisions decisions. Perhaps I should just choose another one altogether and be done with it.

Maybe I’ll call myself Ms Rose.  That way I’ll still smell sweet.

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9 responses to “What’s in a name

  1. I didn’t change my name- the patriarchy, professional reasons and also problems with my first name. However I’ve found taking a non-committal attitude to which name other people use a nice compromise. The bank seem to accept cheques in either. Although being refereed to as “Mrs John Smith” was a little more than I could stomach.

  2. Ahh! Yes. My maiden name was Flood – my family being of Irish extraction – and my current one is just a delight in comparison. I latched onto it like a hungry little leech. It still messes with John’s mind a little, as whenever he hears ‘Mrs. HairyFarmer’, he thinks they are talking about his mother, not his wife. Freudian little bugger! My passport and drivers licence remained in my maiden name, although I have realised that both are now expired.

    My neighbours are Dr. and Dr. G. Rachel is known as Dr. MaidenName at work, and Mrs. or Dr. G at home; the personal/professional split personality seems to work for her quite well.

    Changing the name on your bank details and household bills might be a nice touch, as they are items on which you simply see your name as opposed to actually using it! I can’t remember the last time I actually signed my name since chip & pin.

    Am a total wedding gooey freak, and am champing at the bit for more wedding details, incidentally!

  3. Missed an apostrophe. Am excoriating self as we speak.

  4. You should both change your names.

    Become Mrs and Mr Smith.

  5. I’ve never been tempted to do a PhD. I wanted out of exams and academia as soon as I had my Bachelors, and even a Masters would have been too much.

    But if I were female, I’d definitely have wanted one, purely for the ability to take part in a dialogue such as this:

    “Is it Miss, or Mrs.?”

    “It’s DOCTOR.”

    Then again, you don’t actually need a PhD to say that – as Ben Goldacre pricelessly says: “Gillian McKeith, or to give her her full medical title – Gillian McKeith.”

  6. If I have to change my name ,I’ll be enjoyed ,be called by short name.But ,guys don’t forget ,a name means ,a personality history , old friends, …A big social network !!

  7. my wife decided not to change her name when we married and i was very sad about this.. only because she thinks she’s having a pretty name..

  8. Hi Mutuelle and Assurance.

    I’ve still not made up my mind, and I’m married now.

    Dithery, dithery do.

    Oh well.

    Thanks for commenting.

    Ben

  9. The novelty of the title does wear off. Eventually. It takes about 3 weeks I find.

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