Seagulls, shit, the love of money and the root of evil

There’s a whole bunch of seagulls swooping over my life at the moment, and it’s not clear at all if they’ll just shriek noisily and fly away, or if they are going to dump shit and stale herrings on me from a great height.

I’m aware my nice and tidy life could go spectacularly tits-up (redundancy, housing crisis, personal credit crunch, etc, etc) but the odd thing is that I feel more annoyed and irritated than worried or peturbed.

It’s not that I think it won’t happen to me.  It has in the past so why not again?  I’m all too aware that the gap between any of us and helpless homelessness is the thickness of a rizla paper.  Nine years ago I dealt with the loss of my marriage, my business and my home, and at that time I had no property and serious debts.  I walked around with fear in the pit of my stomach for so many years that I’ve now no way of working out just how long it was.  Five years maybe.  And I lived a wild and rackety life for a while, and settling down has just been bliss. So  I don’t want to have to deal with that sort of upheaval again.  I’m a decade older and tireder for a start.

But I guess the fact that I’ve turned myself around in the past means that I do know that I can face that sort of shit and deal with it.  I’m not sure if that’s a good thing though.  Last time I dealt with it because I had no choice, and I’d no idea how hard it would be or how long it would take.  Ignorance may not have been bliss, but it made it easier to be hopeful.

This time I’ve a better idea of what I could be facing if the sea-gulls spray me with shit and herrings.  It’s less scary, because I know I can deal with that sort of thing, but it’s far, far drearier, because I know what’s involved.  I don’t want to have to deal with that sort of upheaval, but if I must, I must.  At least I have no children or dependents to worry about.

On an allied topic, I’ve been thinking about just what a cunt Christopher Foster was to kill his daughter and his wife.  I can understand that he didn’t want the bailiffs to take away his lovely lifestyle.  What’s not to understand about that?  I can even understand but not condone the impulse that says “if I can’t have this lovely house and expensive cars then no-one can”.  From there it’s a short step to killing the horses, assuming that he’d only ever seen them as another way of making his neighbours like or envy him.  When it comes to killing his wife, perhaps the common nastiness of domestic murder has dulled the outrage I should feel and left a sickened distaste in its place.   But  to kill his daughter whom he should protect and nurture, and who had sufficient youth to move well beyond any financial crisis rattling around her in her teens: that is an act of dispicable and unforgivable betrayal.  I’ve already used the worst word I have, and it really isn’t bad enough.


11 responses to “Seagulls, shit, the love of money and the root of evil

  1. Aphra, what you said is true, apart from excusing the killing of his wife and his animals. It was appalling, all of it. Gotterdammerung has a lot to answer for.

  2. I’ve been thinking similar perplexed thoughts about that armageddon in Salop.
    I can’t help wondering how he went about things – and hope his wife and child knew nothing until the last possible moment.

    For the rest? Have a great big :hug:
    Sorry I can’t add anything terribly constructive.

  3. Ah, Geoff, I seem to be the only person who uses the word “understand” to mean “comprehend” rather than “endorse”. It’s a habit I struggle to get out of. What I mean is that I can see that there is a particular sequence of steps which could lead someone to killing the horses and dogs, but following the twisted logic doesn’t mean that I endorse it. Killing his wife was wrong and is terrible, but the murder of his daughter seems the most extreme betrayal.

    Thank you Teuchter. *hugs* back.


  4. Is “cunt” really the worst word you have? I wonder why?

  5. Probably a lack of imagination, anticant! And the famous lack of intelligence which I am regularly assured goes along with a sweary habit of speech.

    What words are worse? Please tell. Interested but unimaginative and unintelligent fools need to know.


  6. Offering worse words:


    Nope, can’t think of any more. But the Gene Genie can help us…

    I particularly like the inclusion of “French”. Which reminds me of the joke my g/f’s kids now recite every time I make them boiled eggs… “What’s the difference between toast and the French? You can make soldiers out of toast.”

    Re: the murders. By all accounts the daughter was chatting online when she was shot, so it seems likely it was completely unexpected – the smallest mercy. I’m honestly baffled, as I am when anyone successfully commits (as opposed to “attempts”) suicide, regardless of what or who they take with them. The biggest lesson in life I’ve learned as I approach 40 is “This too shall pass”.

  7. The first rule of working in Germany is the Basil Fawlty Rule: Don’t Mention The War. I did once and I certainly got away with it.

    Q: Why are French roads lined with trees?
    A: Because German soldiers like marching in the shade.

    And your comment “this too shall pass” is what this whole post is about, really.



  8. What’s wrong with cunts? Using sexual words as swearwords or to describe something nasty is pornographic in D.H. Lawrence’s sense of “doing dirt on sex”.

    I’m happy to use “God” and “Jesus Christ!” as swearwords, but I have more reverence for sex.

  9. Interesting point anticant.

    I use the word both ways, much as I use most of the sexual words, and I don’t have a problem distinguishing the parallel contexts of violence and invective on one side and passion or tenderness on the other.

    But I can apperciate your point. It may not devalue sex for me, but using the words in those ways may devalue or coarsen sex in general. Is our society sexually liberated or is it emotionally and sexually coarsened? (Musings in the form of rhetorical questions).

    It probably does show a lack of imagination on my part though.

    But in terms of invoking a particular reaction – cunt is the most most likely to make the people I know recoil, wince, or otherwise react. Maybe that says more about the people I spend time with than anything else.

    Food for thought once again. Thanks for dropping by.


    PS – I’m taking the Tallyrand biography on holiday with me, and also the book on Transactional Analysis providing it arrives in time. I’ve mentioned before that you are an expensive chap to know!

  10. Our society is both sexually liberated [thank goodness] and – largely due to the malign influence of the media – emotionally and sexually coarsened, alas.

    Not nearly enough people – especially young people – equate sexual passion with tenderness. If they did, rape would not be such a problem.

    Our most urgent need today is to reduce the actual and socially acceptable level of violence. Using sexual terms abusively doesn’t help to do that.

    Enjoy your holiday – and happy reading!

  11. “Re: the murders. By all accounts the daughter was chatting online when she was shot, so it seems likely it was completely unexpected – the smallest mercy.”

    Really, what must the person she was chatting to have thought and was she audio chatting or typing?

    Chatting: ‘Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Ok, well, see you Tuesd…BANG…splurge…’

    Typing: ‘lol, txt m8 lst wk…rofl…c u nxt tsdykjub ‘

    Now, you could say that the chatting one might have given her friend a bit of clue that something might be worng…or she might have been using MSN messenger in which case she probably thought it was the MSN connection going up the tubes again.

    And typing…well, this txt-spk stuff always looks like someone trying to type while having an epileptic fit.

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