Here’s an atheist meme I picked up on Adopt-An-Atheist who credits The Friendly Atheist Site. I’ve done it more because I’m interested in how others will reply than because I think you give a flying-meatball about my beliefs. But here, for the little it’s worth is
The Atheist Quiz
Have you ever…
- Participated in the Blasphemy Challenge? - No – but one of my favourite jokes has the punchline – “Are you kidding….? I went there 2000 years ago, got some bird pregnant and they’re still talking about it!” If that’s not denial of the holy spirit, what is? My big sis said that the sin against the holy ghost is usually thought to be bestiality, but I’m not sure how they work that out. I’ve not notched that one up either.
- Met at least one of the “Four Horsemen” (Richard Dawkins,Daniel Dennett, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris) in person? - No – but I did go to hear Richard Dawkins speak when he was plugging was “Unweaving the Rainbow”.
- Created an atheist blog? - Well it’s a blog and I’m an atheist…
- Used the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a religious debate with someone? - No. I’m an atheist not an evangelist. I don’t care what you believe so long as you don’t care what I believe.
- Been offended when someone called you an agnostic? - Impossible to say.
- Been unable to watch Growing Pains reruns because of Kirk Cameron? - Huh?
- Own more Bibles than most Christians you know? - Just the one, I think. Maybe two. Dunno.
- Have at least one Bible with your personal annotations regarding contradictions, disturbing parts, etc? - Puh-lease. I have only one life. Why would I spend precious time trying to prove it?
- Have come out as an atheist to your family? - Dunno. Probably not. It’s a belief-system not a lifestyle.
- Attended a campus or off-campus atheist gathering? - Er. Why would I do that?
- Are a member of an organized atheist/Humanist/etc. organization? – Surprisingly, yes, I’ve signed up to the BHA.
- Had a Humanist wedding ceremony? - No. But I’m thinking of becoming someone who can officiate at humanist funerals. Not a thing to do lightly, so I’m mulling it over.
- Donated money to an atheist organization? - Yes, the atheist bus campaign and the BHA.
- Have a bookshelf dedicated solely to Richard Dawkins? – No, but I do have a chair dedicated solely to … oh, I can’t be bothered. Dawkins is eye-wateringly good on genetics, but I dislike polemics.
- Lost the friendship of someone you know because of your non-theism? – I doubt it. I do believe very strongly we should all be allowed to go to the devil our own way.
- Tried to argue or have a discussion with someone who stopped you on the street to proselytize? – No. Why bother?
- Had to hide your atheist beliefs on a first date because you didn’t want to scare him/her away? - No. I don’t foam at the mouth.
- Own a stockpile of atheist paraphernalia (bumper stickers, buttons, shirts, etc)? – No. Or any other kind for that matter.
- Attended a protest that involved religion? - No
- Attended an atheist conference? - No
- Subscribe to Pat Condell’s YouTube channel? – Who?
- Started an atheist group in your area or school? - No
- Successfully “de-converted” someone to atheism? - I doubt it.
- Have already made plans to donate your body to science after you die? - No. I’ve arranged to have my ashes packed into fireworks and set off at my wake.
- Told someone you’re an atheist only because you wanted to see the person’s reaction? – No, I’m not a teenager.
- Had to think twice before screaming “Oh God!” during sex. Or you said something else in its place? – Heh heh. No. (There has to be a marian joke here, but I can’t work it out).
- Lost a job because of your atheism? - No. That would be illegal.
- Formed a bond with someone specifically because of your mutual atheism (meeting this person at a local gathering or conference doesn’t count)? - I doubt it. You’d have to ask my friends.
- Have crossed “In God We Trust” off of — or put a pro-church-state-separation stamp on — dollar bills? - N/A
- Refused to recite the Pledge of Allegiance? - N/A
- Said “Gesundheit!” (or nothing at all) after someone sneezed because you didn’t want to say “Bless you!”? - No. And I tend to say “Bless me” rather plaintively after I sneeze. Pavlov’s got a lot to answer for.
- Have ever chosen not to clasp your hands together out of fear someone might think you’re praying? - Eh?
- Have turned on Christian TV because you needed something entertaining to watch? - N-n-no. Though I have played follow-the-fundy on YouTube.
- Are a 2nd or 3rd (or more) generation atheist? - My father and great-grandfather were clergymen. So that’ll be a ‘no’ then.
- Have “atheism” listed on your Facebook or dating profile — and not a euphemistic variant? - Oh, I don’t know. I think I don’t list it one way or the other.
- Attended an atheist’s funeral (i.e. a non-religious service)? - No, but see #12 above.
- Subscribe to a freethought magazine (e.g. Free Inquiry, Skeptic)? - Only as podcasts.
- Have been interviewed by a reporter because of your atheism? - No
- Written a letter-to-the-editor about an issue related to your non-belief in God? - No. But I did write a chunk of the Wikipedia entry on the atheist bus campaign.
- Gave a friend or acquaintance a New Atheist book as a gift? – “The Selfish Gene” doesn’t count, presumably. Call that a “no”.
- Wear pro-atheist clothing in public? - No. But then I don’t wear any slogans in public.
- Have invited Mormons/Jehovah’s Witnesses into your house specifically because you wanted to argue with them? - No. One and only precious lifetime. Not going to spend it arguing about something that doesn’t exist.
- Have been physically threatened (or beaten up) because you didn’t believe in God? - No.
- Receive Google Alerts on “atheism” (or variants)? - No.
- Received fewer Christmas presents than expected because people assumed you didn’t celebrate it? - No. I actually don’t celebrate it when I’m single, only when I’m in a relationship with someone who does. I find it bemusing and rather sweet that people give me presents.
- Visited The Creation Museum or saw Ben Stein’s Expelled just so you could keep tabs on the “enemy”? – No
- Refuse to tell anyone what your “sign” is… because it doesn’t matter at all? - No. Confirmation bias and expectations theory have made me an absolutely typical Aries. Little sheep that I am. Baa-aaa-aaa.
- Are on a mailing list for a Christian organization just so you can see what they’re up to? - Do I look like someone who gives a bleep?
- Have kept your eyes open while you watched others around you pray? - No. I still bob to the knees when I sit down in Church. Pavlov again. It stops other people chatting to me and lets me focus on why I’m there – wedding, funeral, whatever.
- Avoid even Unitarian churches because they’re too close to religion for you? - Eh?
And just so you know how you fare, here’s a scale to rank yourself (adapted from Darwin’s Dagger’s suggestions):
0-10: Impressive, but not too far from agnosticism.
11-20: You are, literally, a “New Atheist.” But you now have something to strive for! Go for the full 50!
21-30: You are an atheist, but babies aren’t running away from you. Yet.
31-40: You are the 5th Horseman! Congratulations!
41-50: PZ Myers will now be taking lessons from you.
That’s 5 or so out of 50. So not a militant then.